September 13, 2016 - Newspost
The summer heat has finally broken, so I took Monday evening as an opportunity to wander the neighborhood with one of my dogs-- the one I like.
We walked a little longer than usual, since I needed to come up with yet another comic masterpiece to keep you people happy. I typed and typed into the phone, trying avoid the horror to looking up at nature and actually enjoying my evening.
I was about to come up with the perfect punchline, when my dog started yanking on her leash. She had found a new wild animal, and wanted desperately to run up, smell it, and eat it.
Our neighborhood has a lot of rabbits, so this is nothing out of the ordinary. I tugged on the leash, told her firmly to "leave it", and she ignored me as always (we have a system)
We did this a few more times as I continued to pay attention to my phone, I had just began typing a punchline, when I finally became present enough in the moment to look up.
There, in the shadows, perhaps 2 meters away, was a skunk.
It raised its tail, and I panicked. I ran as fast as I could from that tiny animal. The dog saw my sense of urgency and followed suit. I haven't run that hard for a long time, and it felt terrible. Even the dog seemed winded.
Out of the kindness of its heart, the skunk decided not to spray us. Possibly because it was mocking my wheezing, possibly because it was a cat, but probably out of respect for this comic (it was clear to even wild animals that I had a quality punchline). It simply lowered its tail and climbed into a pipe. That was the last I saw of it.
I never did finish what I was writing. By the time i remembered that I needed to finish the comic, the memory of how to properly do so had long since faded.
If anyone has complaints about the lack of funny in today's comic, you have a terrifying near-miss skunk attack to blame...
...Or maybe a cat... it was very dark.