August 15, 2017 - News Post

Okay, kids. In celebration of hitting 200 comics today, I decided to get myself something special, something memorable... something under $5.

Peer pressure has been gnawing away at me, and I have a desperate need to fit in. As a result, you'll be happy to know that I finally spent a whole handful of dollars on: a fidget spinner.

If you’ve been in a cave, and that cave lacks internet service, then it’s possible you’ve missed out on the newest, hottest trend from four months ago. Fidget spinners are triangular shaped, weighted toys with a ball-bearing in the center. You fidget, you spin it. End of story.

I’ve played with this thing for two days now, and I must say: I don’t get it.

It spins for a while. It’s easier to twirl than a gyroscope, but it’s less fun. I honestly don’t see the appeal. It spins... and that’s it. Two months ago, I bought the spinner’s estranged cousin, the fidget cube. This is a box covered in buttons, switches, and other bumps to poke. I freakin’ love that thing. I press it, bop it, poke it, twist it, and even put it in my mouth. There’s no way I could comfortably fit a fidget spinner in my mouth. Believe me.

I’m spinning the thing right now. Whee. In a minute or so it’ll stop, and I’ll have to spin it again. What is the appeal? Where are the batteries supposed to go? Why didn’t anyone warn me about the lack of fun?

Am I too old and out of touch? Did I get a cheap knockoff that’s somehow inferior to the true fidget spinner? Or is it something far more shocking and unexpected... that I’m too cool to waste my time?

I don’t have all night, and I don’t really care, so I’m going to settle on that last one. Until I hear otherwise, I’m assuming I’m cool. You should too.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a fidget cube to put in my mouth.

-Jeff