2017-11-03 - A Perfect Day

A Perfect Day

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November 3, 2017 - News Post

I remember my last clean desk.

It was back in August. My parents came to watch the total solar eclipse, and they stayed in my house.

Like a good grownup, I cleaned all the messes they might see by shoving papers and junk into closets, drawers, and cabinets. For a brief 72 hours, my home looked completely clean. Yet only one area of my house was truly cleaned and sorted: my desk. I went through every paper, every computer peripheral, every Post-it note, and organized it all. My desk was immaculate.

When my parents left (citing my rude behavior), I scooped all the junk out of the shoving spots. In the days and weeks that followed, I'm proud to say that I actually sorted through dozens of piles of junk and everything now has its own place.

Only one small problem: while I was cleaning, I accumulated junk mail and receipts at an alarming rate. I was far too busy cleaning up my old mess to worry about it, so I started a little pile on my desk.

What's a handful of receipts? It's nothing, it'll go well in the corner of my desk.

A small stack of junk mail? No problem. I can sort that later. I'll put it on the receipts, next to the other pile of junk mail.

Where should I put that bag of loose computer wires? On my desk, of course.

So here we are, months later. I have cleaned nearly the entire house, but my desk has yet another giant pile of papers on it. The pile is above my speakers, approaching the top of my monitors in places.

Back in September, I complained about my messy desk. I never cleaned it. That mess has now gestated into some truly evil. It's taken on a life of its own.

I probably shouldn't be typing this at my desk. It knows what I'm typing. The mess is always there, watching and monitoring. I can hear it breathing, and I'm afraid that it moves while I sleep.

I guess what I'm saying is: if anything should happen to me, check my de

WHAT A FUNNY HUMAN JOKE. EVERYTHING IS FINE. JEFF IS FINE. THE MESS IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. DO NOT CONCERN YOURSELF. ALL IS WELL.

-Jeff