October 23, 2015 - News Post

I'm apologizing up front about today's news. It's really just a rant about something that happened as I was about to write the news...

I have lived in Portland, OR for nearly 2 years now, yet I still cannot wrap my head around one thing. Whether I'm walking the dog, taking out the recycling, or just shouting to the neighbors about my comic, something magical happens:

No one EVER says hello back to me.

I will smile, I will nod, I will wave, I will see the exact same people day in and day out. The response is always the same: no response.

People look down, they look away, they pretend that they're looking at their watches. I freakin' hate it.

I KNOW I'm incredibly handsome, and I'm reasonably sure I don't smell, so there's no way it can be me. I'm a great person to say hello to.

I am aware that not everyone wants to be bothered, people have things on their mind, and I'm certain most of these people are perfectly wonderful to their loved ones... But I'm reasonably sure the lack of human interaction is a regional thing, and I am not a fan.

If you have an explanation, I'd love to hear it. In the meantime, I'll simply continue doing what I've been doing over the last month: greeting people more and more boisterously and standing in their way until they have no choice but to say hello back.

If I can't force strangers to greet me, I'll at least give them a good reason not to.

-Jeff