August 1, 2017 - News Post

It’s War of the Noses in my household.

Both my wife and I have mild allergies. I’m allergic to dust and dogs, she’s allergic to the smell of the outdoors.

After months of being stuck inside in the cool air conditioning, the weather has been fluctuating a bit in the last few weeks. It keeps jumping from horrifically hot to moderately hot and back. In order to celebrate cool weather, I opened all the windows in the house. A cool breeze blew in, and I discovered I could breathe in ways I had long since forgotten (It turns out, you can use your nose to breathe. Who knew?).

The moment I opened those windows, however, my wife’s nose clogged with snotty goodness.

When the temperature went up again, all the windows were closed in order to use air conditioning. Within seconds of locking the windows, my wife’s snot crawled out of her face, slithered down onto the floor and leapt straight up my nose. I didn’t see this happen, but I’m pretty sure that’s how it went down. I spent the next three days with a stuffed nose and nasty headache.

The weather changed again, and again, the snot changed places. This went on for over a week before either of us realized the pattern. We’d open the windows, her head would stuff up, close the windows, and mine would clog.

So it’s become clear that we have a problem, but the windows have been closed since we made that discovery. At present, the weather is conveniently too hot to open the windows... we may even be able to hold an unsteady truce until autumn, but I have my doubts.

One of us will win the war of the noses. Will it be me? Will it be her? Only time will tell.

(Hint: it’ll be her)

-Jeff