July 24, 2021 - News Post

Announcement time!!!

You remember Dr. Lobster, right? That old webcomic I did with Michael Buonauro? The one from the early 2000s? Of course you do. Well, Tuesday the 27^th is the 20^th anniversary of the release of our theme song, carefully and beautifully crafted by Evil Adam:

The Ballad of Dr. Lobster

Speaking of old things: Masters of the Universe came out with a new show this weekend. Did everyone watch it? I know I did-- and I have to talk about it.

I'm going to talk a bit about the toys, and then I'll break into spoiler territory for the new series. I will warn you when I get there.

I don't mention it often, but I was and still am a huuuuuge MOTU fan (I'm not going to spell out the words every time). My three favorite franchises growing up were Ghostbusters (especially the REAL Ghostbusters), Star Trek: The Next Generation, and my all-time favorite: Masters of the Universe. It's possibly not a coincidence that Mr. Battles in the comic above so strongly resembles a MOTU figure sitting on my desk, but who am I to say?

MOTU is an all-encompassing hodgepodge of cool stuff. It has everything you can dream of: monsters, aliens, sorcerers, lasers, robots, a skull-faced castle, and people who look almost as badass as I do in furry short shorts. The toys were giant, creative as hell, and featured cool actions like squirting venom, spring legs, dripping blood, and battle damage. If you were a kid in the 80s, you couldn't do better than these figures

For most you, I'm sure thinking of MOTU conjures up images of the old cartoon series. You're not wrong. But it's not the whole picture. While I did enjoy those shows at the time, my pre-school brain knew better than to respect characters like Orko and Cringer, two creatures designed specifically "for the kids".

In my mind, the cartoon series was never the real representation of MOTU, nor was it the first. What stirred my imagination then, and even now, was looking at the gritty, scary, brutally realistic looking box art. For a little while before the cartoon was released, this and the mini comics (tiny comics included with the toys) were the only glimpses into whatever the hell this barbarian alien world was supposed to be.

The art was stunning, and it was the first thing we saw as kids. Art by Ruby Obrero, Earl Norem, and (my favorite) William George. Not to mention the mini comic art by Alfredo Alcala.

The cartoon presented a bright, happy, cherry land. It expanded on the world and gave a loose storyline. It was fine…. But nothing like the horrific nightmare battleground of the box art that came before it. The boxes had mind-blowing depictions of a dying world where strange creatures battled for dominance and survival. That world was terrifying and awe-inspiring. The cartoon was something else entirely.

The mini comics included with the figures were a mixed bag, with the best issues by far being those unrelated to the cartoon. In my mind, that box art will ALWAYS be the true world of Eternia, home of the Masters of the Universe. There was no Orko, no Cringer, no Prince Adam (at least, not at first). There was only a dry, burnt hellscape of futuristic technology and magic. I'd never want to live in that universe, but I sure love staring into it.

Mattel set the bar extremely high with the box art. And those images have been burned into my brain for nearly 40 years. They set the stage for the toys, and that has always been where I hoped a cartoon show would go.

The He-man shows of the 80s were decent for the time (although largely unwatchable now), they were cute and hokey. The live action movie was bafflingly bad (I might enjoy it slightly more now that I've heard the behind-the-scenes tales of budget issues, but wow, what a terrible take on He-man). The 90s had a space reboot show that was a waste of time, the early 2000s had some great stories and episodes, the but voicework was cheesy and fights could best be described as "dance fighting". I honestly liked and hated elements of each and every one of these, but my favorite until now was probably the early 2000s show.

And let's not forget about comic books... They've ranged from terrible crossovers with the Justice League to fairly decent (but ULTRA violent) stories.

About 10 years ago, a monthly direct to internet toyline, Masters of the Universe Classics, came out. Each figure had its own bio with a little bit of a timeline. I bought many a figure for this line. The biographies did a decent job of combining the mess of different He-man origins from the comics, mini-comics, children's books, and different TV series. I really love those figures and I found the story to be a decent amalgamation of everything that had come before.

And now we have Kevin Smith's take on the show. I'll jump into spoilers in a moment, but for now I'll say I had low expectations. There have been so many ups and downs in the world of He-man. I want a perfect representation of the box art, but the odds of getting that are extremely low. So what did I think?

Not too shabby. Well worth a watch. Not quite my extremely limited definition of perfect, but way better than expected. Probably the best of all the animated Masters of the Universe.

Spoilers from here on out. If you haven't watched all of the series, skip this until you do.

I'll start with the good.

It was announced early on that the show will focus on Teela, rather than Prince Adam.

Good! For as much as I love He-man. He is, by far, the most boring character in the universe. He's like Superman. How can you possibly build tension in a world where your main character can punch the ground to take out an army of enemies? The universe is filled with wild, exciting weirdos, far more fascinating that "blond guy who is really strong."

Get rid of him. The sooner the better.

Teela has an intriguing story arc. Anyone who watched the original show or read the comics probably has a decent idea of where it will be going in part 2. But she's more fun to watch than Prince Adam, Stratos, or any of the other good guys. I love Teela being a badass, although I wish her voice acting would reflect her larger physique a little more.

I enjoyed the creative and limited ways they used He-man. He was cheesy like the original cartoon, but mostly in flashbacks. This should be enough to satisfy fans of the original cartoon, and yet it doesn't turn this show into a groan-inducing boring romp. Well done.

Overall, I loved the inclusions of the toys (right down to the prototype and "Wonder Bread" He-mans). There were A LOT of throwaway lines that contained easter eggs throughout the series.

I liked the reworking of villains as temporary heroes. I was grossed out by the Triclops Techno Cult, but it made sense for him, character-wise. It was an interesting progression.

What I'm wary of:

Killing of characters. So far, we've seen a couple dead robots, some magical characters, and Moss Man the tree god. I'm assuming any of them can come back. But too many of the "gritty" comics that I've read love to have had He-man slinging puns just like in the 80s, only to watch a beloved character for decades bite the dust in an unceremonious violent stabbing. I don't want those characters to be disposable. If they must die to serve the story, fine, but they shouldn't be cannon fodder.

Storyline predictability. I understand this isn't like Batman, where the audience has seen his parents get killed 6 dozen times. However, even without prior knowledge of the characters, there were very few surprises along the way. For as mature as the cartoon is meant to be, it sure was painfully obvious that the "mysterious old lady" was going to turn into an evil witch, that Teela would be strong in the face of poor, hungry Scareglow, and so on. I guess there was a bit of inconsistency between the tone and twists of the story.

What I could do without:

The strange out-of-character turning on each other that happened at the end of the first episode. Those people weren't quite themselves for a short while. I'm looking at you, King "if I ever see you again, I'll execute you" Randor. I mean, I feel that the point of it was to say that "playtime is over" after he-man died, but it did seem a little forced.

The art style was an interesting choice, and not necessarily a good one. I feel like there were many options between "beautiful, traditional, statuesque models" and "half-melted, angular wax sculptures", but they sure went grotesque as possible with it. The horror movie artwork stopped bothering my brain around episode three, but I still can't understand what they were thinking.

And this is another weird one… am I the only who noticed a lot of Bible references? Like, way more than expected for a fantasy land on an alien planet? Not sure where they're going with that, but it was a little off-putting. It took me right out of the story every time that one came up, and it came up a LOT.

Orko, Cringer, and Prince Adam. You knew I was going to say it. Most everyone disagrees with me, but come on. Did that Orko voice really seem natural in the same world as the weird techno eyeball guy? Seriously? Go back and watch it again. The show is better without Orko. You know it in your heart of hearts. No, I don't think he's dead because too many of you love that awful Jar Jar Binks of a character. Shame on you.

Back to what I liked. No wait… flat out LOVED:

The ending. Nice nice nice. I've been waiting for decades to see Skeletor get his hands on the sword of power. Now, perhaps I pay too much attention to MOTU. The Skelegod toy has been out for month or more, and it seems like a logical choice for where this series was going to go. But wow. Surprise or no, it sure was satisfying to see.

I also liked the nods to the toys. Yeah, Mattel produced this, and they want to sell toys. But it was nice to see so many beloved vehicles and playsets from my childhood reproduced with such accuracy. I didn't have them all then, and I won't buy them all now. But it was fun to see.

And finally, most importantly: The nod to the box art. The freaking intro on the first episode was LOADED with reinterpretations of the box art and related posters. Beyond that, the look and feel of that box art was nearly reproduced in animated form throughout the series.

Some closing thoughts:

I'm an annoying fan with very particular tastes.

Overall, it was much better than I thought it would be. A little dark at times, yet engaging and thorough in its exploration of the Masters of the Universe. Would I have preferred a more "traditional" series with all my favorite heroes and villains? Probably. It certainly would've helped the audience members who were unfamiliar with a 40 year old cartoon. But I'll gladly take this over some goofball cutesy interpretation like the 80s cartoon.

The series we got will never be the one as good as what's in my head. I could nitpick the crap out of this series. But I won't… until Part II comes out.

Go watch it. It's worth the time.

And while you're at it, buy the toys. Because why else would anyone watch a 3 hour commercial?

-Jeff