September 3, 2022 - News Post

I bought a couch!!!

No wait… Let me rephrase that.

I bought a NEW couch!!!

I’ve owned many pieces of furniture in my lifetime: Desks, tables, chairs, bean bags, crumpled boxes, piles of dirty laundry in the corner, etc. However, I’ve never owned living room furniture that isn’t secondhand.

This isn't a bad thing. Throughout the years, there have been many reasons for this. Some used furniture was acquired on purpose (my wife like mid-century modern furniture), and others by happenstance (have you seen what new furniture COSTS?!?).

Still, every single object that’s gone between my butt and the floor has experienced other butts before mine. Always. Since the beginning of time.

That all changes in a few short weeks when my new couch arrives.

It arrives unassembled. My butt WILL be the first butt to touch this furniture. Even if I need to knife fight my wife for it (and unlike the lawn chairs, it’s my turn to win).

Mark my words: I WILL know that no butt has come before mine.

Think about that when you visit my place.

Also, think about it now.

-Jeff