May 24, 2019 - News Post

I was nearly murdered by a coconut today.

For real.

This happened as I took the dogs on their morning poop stroll (I can no longer speak or spell the word “walk” in my house). I wandered up and down the sidewalk, on some grass, and headed back home.

Near the end of the walk, I stopped to fiddle with my phone. I was listening to a podcast, and needed to skip the commercials. I stood in place for a minute or so, fumbling with the buttons. When I was done, I took two steps forward.

THUD.

Behind me, exactly where I was standing not 3 seconds earlier, a large green cannon ball had landed. It fell from roughly 10 meters (30 feet) and cracked on the paved walking path. The coconut was heavy as hell, and as large as my head.

This was no joke. Had I been struck, I would likely have suffered permanent damage and/or permanent death. I am still shaken hours later. I can’t help but think: If that had hit me, I wouldn’t have to make a comic tonight.

I was so close.

-Jeff